Bottle that euphoria

I consider myself to be optimistic (some have even called me a Pollyanna), but there are times, moments, when my faith in humanity is shaken. As an addict who has been through rehab I have seen the basest of behaviors and yet I have also seen in those same people a core of humility and the ability to love unconditionally. Those experiences have colored how I view the world around me and given me a pretty firm belief in the goodness of humans. This may be why I enjoy reading Dean Koontz. It's certainly why my RoadID says, "Definitely half full!"

I had a co-worker point out the other day, very casually I might add, that we live in the "meanest part of America's meanest city." That really got me wondering if it's true. There is no question that South Philly has its share of meanies, but is it really the worst? I'd be curious to hear from other parts of the country - I've read often that Milwaukee is a really nice place to live, for instance. Still, I sure do encounter a lot of negativity.

I commute by bike and yesterday had to slam on my brakes and skid to a stop so a young woman on the phone could pull halfway out into the intersection. I have to admit I became the lowest common denominator and cursed her stupidity, out loud. She then proceeded to yell back at me (with a much deeper shade of blue language), head out the window, while she continued across the rest of the intersection without looking the other way, causing those oncoming cars to do the same thing I had just done, still on the phone.

Of course, I'm on the front lines a good part of the day, working customer service, so maybe I'm just seeing a subset of folks. But then I think about the unseen instances. Like the clear baggie full of dog poop in a store display. Who uses clear baggies for that? But let's give them the benefit of the doubt, because they did clean up after their dog. But why would you take it inside, only to leave it out in the open? That's just plain malicious. We have lots of trashcans. Please use one next time. Or returning industrial-sized fans, ostensibly, and filling the boxes with cinderblocks. Shame on us for not checking every box, but really? What were you thinking when you got up this morning? That it sure looks like a good day to take advantage of someone's better nature?

This is about nothing more or less than kindness. I fear becoming an old crank, but I don't want to spend all of my time assuming the worst of others. It needn't be this way. I was riding home two days ago and passed a young girl twirling on the sidewalk with two big balloons. She stopped and looked at me almost guiltily but with a hint of a smile still there. I said, "You look very happy." She replied, with a bigger smile, "I am." And so I smiled the rest of the way home. It takes so little. Mind you, this was ten minutes after I realized that someone had taken the lights off my bike while I spent five minutes in the grocery store. That's $35 to replace them instead of getting $35 worth of groceries, or whatever. Did that thought go through that person's mind as they removed them? I guess not, or the lights would still be there. But the smile was the balance. That's why there is a yin-yang on my shoulder.

You can't take this happiness stuff for granted. As glorious as it feels to smile a big smile it wouldn't be that big a deal if there wasn't as big a negative to make it a big deal. A couple of times in the past few weeks I've had these massive bursts of euphoria, out of the blue. I can only attribute them to the training I'm doing for the marathon in November. It's awesome and I wish I could bottle it and give it to some of the miserable people out there. Pity, that.